Step 5 Having The best Iklaq -> Preparing for Ramadan: Cleaning the Heart and Cultivating Good Akhlaq



Preparing Our Hearts

As we prepare for Ramadan, we start by cleaning our homes to welcome our special guest. Equally important is cleaning our hearts from jealousy, negativity, grudges, and other harmful feelings, because Allah sees both our hearts and actions.

Step 1: Forgive Others

  • Forgiveness may feel impossible, but Allah encourages it.

  • We can forgive not just for reward in the Hereafter, but for the beauty of Allah’s mercy and our own peace of mind.

  • Holding onto anger or grudges makes it harder to fully embrace our religious duties.

  • Forgive as Allah forgives, remembering that His mercy is boundless.

Step 2: Forgive Yourself

  • Acknowledge your mistakes and ask Allah sincerely for forgiveness.

  • Don’t return to old habits; use the “reset button” to start fresh.

  • If you slip again, get up, reset, and try again — human weakness is natural, but Allah’s mercy is limitless.

Step 3 : Cultivating Good Manners (Akhlaq)

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“I was sent to perfect good manners.”-Aḥmad, Hadith 8952 (Ḥasan)

 The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Nothing is heavier on the believer’s Scale on the Day of Judgment than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.” - Sunan al‑Tirmidhī, Hadith 2003 

Why Akhlaq Matters in Ramadan

  • Fasting is not just abstaining from food and drink; without good manners, it loses its spiritual benefit. 

  • The Prophet ﷺ said:

    • “Fasting is not just refraining from food and drink, but also from vain speech and foul behavior.” - Bukhari

    The Prophet ﷺ said:
    “Allah said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting — it is for Me and I will reward it. Fasting is a shield; so the fasting person should avoid obscene speech and not raise his voice in anger, and if someone insults him or tries to fight him, let him say: “I am fasting.” By the One in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the smell coming from the mouth of the fasting person is better before Allah than the fragrance of musk. There are two moments of joy for the fasting person — joy when he breaks his fast, and joy when he meets his Lord.’”
    — Sahih al‑Bukhari

     

  • The best gift you can give yourself this Ramadan is excellent character and kindness.

Do’s and Don’ts

Start with the person next to you — your family, siblings, In laws , Spouse , Children or friends — anyone inside your home. Then extend this kindness to people outside, whether they are family members or others, in person, through messages, voice notes, or comments on social media.

Avoid:

  • Fighting, yelling, cursing, impatience due to hunger.

  • Harshness, arrogance, lying, backbiting, or foul speech.

Practice:

  • Be kind, helpful, respectful, generous, merciful, and honest.

  • Smile, use soft words, and maintain patience.

  • Less unnecessary talking, avoid social competition or jealousy.

The goal: Be kind to yourself, your family, friends, and all of humanity.

Being a Muslim is not just about rituals; it is about embodying good akhlaq in every interaction. Ramadan is the perfect opportunity to reset our hearts, refine our character, and follow the example of the Prophet ﷺ.


 Good Manners (Ḥusn al-Akhlaq)

1. Truthfulness (Ṣidq)

Explanation: Being honest in speech and action leads to righteousness and Paradise.
Hadith:

“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6094; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2607
Practical Tip: Speak the truth even in difficult situations. Avoid exaggeration or lies in conversation or on social media.

2. Kindness and Gentleness

Explanation: Softness in dealing with others is beloved to Allah.
Hadith:

“Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6927; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2165
Practical Tip: Use soft words, lower your tone, and help others without being harsh.

3. Good Character as the Best Deed

Explanation: Excellent manners are heavily rewarded by Allah.
Hadith:

“The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6035
Practical Tip: Smile often, respect elders, and be patient with the mistakes of others.

4. Smiling and Pleasant Behavior

Explanation: Even small acts like smiling count as charity.
Hadith:

“Your smile to your brother is charity.”
Reference: Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī 1956 (Ḥasan)
Practical Tip: Smile at everyone you meet; send positive messages or greetings.

5. Patience (Ṣabr)

Explanation: Patience is a sign of strength and faith.
Hadith:

“Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1469; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1053
Practical Tip: When upset or hungry, take a deep breath and respond calmly.

6. Mercy and Compassion

Explanation: Showing mercy to others brings Allah’s mercy.
Hadith:

“The merciful are shown mercy by the Most Merciful.”
Reference: Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī 1924 (Ṣaḥīḥ)
Practical Tip: Forgive mistakes, help those in need, and show kindness to animals and people.

7. Humility

Explanation: Arrogance prevents entry into Paradise.
Hadith:

“No one who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 91
Practical Tip: Avoid bragging, acknowledge others’ contributions, and admit your mistakes.

 Bad Manners (Sū’ al-Akhlaq)

1. Lying

Explanation: Saying what is false leads away from righteousness.
Hadith:

“…Lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to Hellfire.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6094; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2607
Practical Tip: Pause before speaking; only say what you know to be true.

2. Backbiting (Gheebah)

Explanation: Speaking ill of others in their absence is a grave sin.
Hadith:

“Do you know what backbiting is? It is to mention about your brother what he dislikes.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2589
Practical Tip: Avoid gossip; change the topic or speak positively about others.

3. Harshness and Rudeness

Explanation: Harsh behavior deprives a person of goodness.
Hadith:

“Harshness is not found in anything except that it makes it defective.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2594
Practical Tip: Speak gently, even when correcting someone; avoid shouting.

4. Uncontrolled Anger

Explanation: Anger leads to regret and sin.
Hadith:

“The strong one is not the one who overcomes people by strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6114; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2609
Practical Tip: Count to ten, step away, or make wudu before responding in anger.

5. Arrogance

Explanation: Looking down on others is condemned.
Hadith:

“Arrogance is rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 91
Practical Tip: Treat everyone equally; remind yourself that only Allah is perfect.

6. Abusive or Foul Speech

Explanation: Avoid vulgar or harmful language.
Hadith:

“The believer is not one who curses, abuses, or speaks indecently.”
Reference: Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī 1977 (Ṣaḥīḥ)
Practical Tip: Replace curse words with calm words; speak positively online and offline.

7. Hypocrisy in Behavior

Explanation: Signs of bad character linked to hypocrisy include lying, breaking promises, and betrayal.
Hadith:

“The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he promises, he breaks it, and when he is entrusted, he betrays.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 33; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 59
Practical Tip: Be consistent in word and deed; keep promises and act with sincerity.


“O Allah, improve Our character and make it beloved to You” 


الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ - Islamic Coaching 

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